Just getting off a plane now. Heaps of things have happened since I boarded the plane and they all hit me in the face as I got off it. Like running into a glass door. Whilst visiting family overseas I realised some things about myself. These would include a) That I'm actually proud to be a part of three different cultures, b) Most of my cousins have accents, c) I'm starting to gain an accent, d) I find it easier to understand other languages, e) I'm thought of as "Beautiful" in my family's culture, f)I'm so in love with the actor "Shahid Kapoor" that I actually, literally got a nosebleed after watching one of his movies, g)I'm totally in love with Joe Jonas and the list goes on and on, however, the one most important thing I realised is that I think I'm over Zac. Even if I'm really not and the absence made me think of things other than him, I don't care anymore. I'm just going to live life, which is something that I haven't been doing for the past 6 months. But the moment I walked into my family's little house in that little village, I felt like myself again. There was no more pressure, none of the bad feelings I felt whilst I was still in Manhattan followed me to there.
For a while I thought about giving up, moving to a different school, faraway as my plan has always been. I used to think of studying faraway from home as a thing to do to meet new people and try new things but nowadays I think of it as a way to run away from my problems and start a new life without the drama's of living in a high end area where you must look perfect at all times.
However, this year I'll live it up because it's our last year together and everyone will be going their seperate ways next year which is why we must make the most of it. James and I are thinking of competing with Jemima Goldstein (The girl who thinks she's so smart) for the school dux.
Kayla Mayfair has actually become nice to me and I don't care about the likes of Carmen Dover. If she wants Zac, she can have him. I guess that after watching the movie "Jab We Met" and falling in love with Shahid Kapoor and Joe Jonas, I have a new outlook on life. The year's only just begun but I have a feeling that this will be the best. Just like the waves on the ocean coming forward and going back are precious memories, creating them, then looking at them, the past and present. I'm going to live life properly now.
I'll probably just tell Zac loud and proud that I used to like him. It's ok because I'm learning to love myself as opposed to continuing hating myself.
Slowly turning over a new leaf,
Alice
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
The Side Stories of A.Marcellus #1
Hello, hello. My name is Alexis Marcellus or as I prefer, Miss A. Marcellus. Only those close to me can call me by a nickname.
At the end of last year most people I knew had hopped on a plane a flew far away. (But, don't misinterpret that as a reflection of my personality.) So what does Miss A. Marcellus do when she no longer has to listen politely (as best friend's do) to the ups and downs of Alice's love life? I'll tell you what she does. She spends the special holidays with her family then she goes and shops for several days with her mother. "It's always a good time for mother-daughter bonding," I say. I also had a need. A need for a new look, I could feel the 'old of last year' clinging to my skin. So, when someone needs something, the logical thing is to get that something. I cut my once long, black and thick (too thick more like) hair to a new "completely different" short, thinner, light brown streaked look. Out with the old, in with the new; I changed my perfume, rearranged my bedroom and wore more mascara then "conservative" girls.
Now, enough of that little side story of my life, more about Alice and the group. If you have not already picked up, I'm Alice's best friend. Also, I'm one of the only people in the group not madly in love with someone. It's not that I hate men or am some closet lesbian, heavens no! It's just that too many feminist influences in my life have lead me to believe the majority of heterosexual men are no-more emotionally intelligent than that of a single cell nucleus. Or as more popularly phrased, "Most men are idiots." Of course there are exceptions (eg. my male friends and family members). Alice and I have been in the same class for around maybe five years? Oh dear, I'm no good with counting years. If we end up in the same class this year, I'm fairly certain it will be six. Anyway, my side stories will very boring as I have no perusal for a huge romantic love life. I could always blatantly lie to stir the pot and say that I was head over heels in love with Justin or Zac! Maybe even in love with them both at the same time! Ha! That would be a laughing riot!
I'll be sure to return,
Miss A. Marcellus.
At the end of last year most people I knew had hopped on a plane a flew far away. (But, don't misinterpret that as a reflection of my personality.) So what does Miss A. Marcellus do when she no longer has to listen politely (as best friend's do) to the ups and downs of Alice's love life? I'll tell you what she does. She spends the special holidays with her family then she goes and shops for several days with her mother. "It's always a good time for mother-daughter bonding," I say. I also had a need. A need for a new look, I could feel the 'old of last year' clinging to my skin. So, when someone needs something, the logical thing is to get that something. I cut my once long, black and thick (too thick more like) hair to a new "completely different" short, thinner, light brown streaked look. Out with the old, in with the new; I changed my perfume, rearranged my bedroom and wore more mascara then "conservative" girls.
Now, enough of that little side story of my life, more about Alice and the group. If you have not already picked up, I'm Alice's best friend. Also, I'm one of the only people in the group not madly in love with someone. It's not that I hate men or am some closet lesbian, heavens no! It's just that too many feminist influences in my life have lead me to believe the majority of heterosexual men are no-more emotionally intelligent than that of a single cell nucleus. Or as more popularly phrased, "Most men are idiots." Of course there are exceptions (eg. my male friends and family members). Alice and I have been in the same class for around maybe five years? Oh dear, I'm no good with counting years. If we end up in the same class this year, I'm fairly certain it will be six. Anyway, my side stories will very boring as I have no perusal for a huge romantic love life. I could always blatantly lie to stir the pot and say that I was head over heels in love with Justin or Zac! Maybe even in love with them both at the same time! Ha! That would be a laughing riot!
I'll be sure to return,
Miss A. Marcellus.
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