#10 Entry in '10. Cool coincidence.
Hello little internet blog. I would've made a monthly post for January but I was overseas (I thoroughly enjoyed myself).
Well, it's been the start of the first year of senior high school. Things are very different than before. More freedoms, more work and more effort needed to keep up with friends. Thank goodness for facebook. :) Every New Year, people make resolutions, "I will get promoted." "I'll lose weight." "I'll earn more money." "I will get a boyfriend/girlfriend." "I'll finally propose.", but I don't. Upon all my flaws, how can I possibly choose one more important than the rest to dedicate to solving by the end of the year? This year I thought my resolution should be to preserve what I have instead of changing it. SO, my 'New Year's Resolution' is to maintain my friendships I had from last year. Wish me luck! :)
With Valentine's Day coming up I might as well talk about that. I was out shopping on Sunday and as I waited by the register for my turn to pay. As looked at the shelve full of impulse buys (candy bars and magazines) I glanced across and noticed a handsome young man looking at me. At first I thought nothing of it, but then I had the urge to look back. I tried to figure out something. I just couldn't put my finger on it. Then it clicked. I was almost certain I knew him. The features I remembered felt vague and faint, I thought it must be someone from a long time ago. Do you remember "Bill Clifford*"? He looked just like him. But I thought to myself, "What if it isn't him? What if he's a look alike? Is this a random stranger checking me out? Why am I soo hideous that I draw attention?" By the end of all this second guessing, the brief moment with Bill (?) was over. I had continued on and paid for my goods. I swiftly returned home thereafter. My obsessive nature caused me to ponder on it. Thinking away, trying to remember their face to see if it really was them. All too afraid to simply ask.
These words kept coming to mind: Love? Loneliness? Am I so lonely that I'll attach myself to any man to grace me with their presence? Or do I genuinely feel... that?
I sat around pondering my own thoughts and feelings then I remembered an important detail.
My mother was buying cheap 50c post-Christmas Chocolates. In February. So, I will sit here before you and swear that it doesn't matter if it was love or loneliness. The matter of the fact is, I've been embarrassed before WHOEVER that was. Bill or not. They'd definitely never date me (at least not NOW).
By the way, she didn't even end up buying those damn chocolates.
Spread love like it's butter,
Miss A. Marcellus
*Bill Clifford is a fake name used to protect the privacy of the author and characters in question. Any similarities are PURELY coincidental.