Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Blair Waldorf/Anna Karenina identity crisis.

Gossip Girl. The alliteration that has sparked a large following since its tv debut.

I must admit, I am a follower, hence why I'm typing this whilst searching 'where to buy Blackberry 9630 in Australia' and watching the latest episode of Gossip Girl (that is available on tv in Australia since I refuse to watch more recent episodes on my 15 or so, inch laptop).
*Yes, the Blackberry 9630 is Blair's phone in season 5.

It's hard to imagine that a raunchy episode of 'Gossip Girl' could cause one to read more challenging, classic books. Meet 'Anna Karenina'.
Blair Waldorf's elegant, sophisticated choices have resulted in her using them as the basis for roleplay (strange, yet exciting.)

Where do these two draw a connection that's more than a one-liner?
Season 5.

'Anna Karenina' by Leo Tolstoy, is about a high-society woman, clad with dark-brown hair, a pale complexion, desirable figure and dark-brown eyes. She's a temptress, a seductress, yet she maintains a level of class and ladylike qualities. Sound familiar? Gossip Girl fans would automatically think of none other than Blair Waldorf.

Anna Karenina is married and falls in love with a mysterious man, one who's totally off-limits, yet he appeals to the likes of many. Dark brown hair, mysterious, a gentleman full of passion. His name is Vronsky, you thought of Charles Bartholomew Bass (Chuck Bass).

Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass have a very destructive, passionate love, a great love, a force that cannot be stopped, as do Anna and Vronsky.

As we near the season finale, there are similarities between the two stories that have presented themselves in the show: SPOILER ALERT.
  1. Blair Waldorf's 'Prince Charming', is only in the marriage for show, accepting that she does not truly love him, as she does Chuck. However, Blair must keep up appearances and pretend to be his 'faithful wife', other than that, she is no longer of interest to him.
    Anna Karenina and Blair share this in common, once her husband, Alexei, finds out about her affair with Vronsky, he creates the exact same contract.
  2. Chuck and Blair's destructive love. They cannot be together, they cannot be apart, once they finally can be together, odds aren't in their favour, a major similarity with Anna and Vronsky.
  3. A baby. Blair's pregnant with Louis' baby, Anna was, with Vronsky's. These babies put a strain on the couples, Blair's baby is not Chuck's, therefore she struggles to choose between Chuck and Louis and Anna's baby is Vronsky's, despite her dire need to be with Vronsky, she cannot be, since Alexei refuses to divorce her.
Forbidden romance, it's a given, these two tragic couples are peas in a pod.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Lazy Writer Who Does Nothing.


It's a little bit embarrassing to have only one of two bloggers fill a blog with content.
It's downright shameful when the slacker of the two is the unemployed one who doesn't even have a learner's license.

Oh no there goes my dirty little secret; I'm a big lazy slob.

You'd think with all my free time I could jot a few words of wisdom for the internet, but no.

Fear not though, I come to this blog bearing gifts. Mildly amusing, bite-sized anecdotes!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Change? Yes.

'Love quotes'.
First off, the writers of this 'blog' (yes, two people counts. I can still use the term 'writers') are two lonely, well at least one obviously is (Guess who! *cough cough* Anna.), loveless people, so why torment ourselves anymore?

Quite frankly, this is getting out of hand. These love quotes are cheesy and put me off love altogether.

"Beauty is more than meets the eye."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

"Eyes are a window to the soul."

Hold on just one second, why does everything have to do with eyes?

I am severely short sighted and without my glasses, nothing meets my eye! Does that mean that I find beauty in everything? If so, then doesn't that just lower the value of me saying that something is beautiful because I'd use the word 'beautiful' as an adjective for everything?
So isn't that implying that if I refer to something as 'ugly', it is in fact, special to me?

Being severely short sighted, does this mean that I cannot see beauty? It is 'in the eye of the beholder', after all. I guess that I will be doomed to see ugliness forever.

Eyes? A window to the soul?
No wonder why I'm agnostic!
If I can't see people's souls, then isn't that a valid case for me being unable to relate to religions because they all emphasise how important your soul is and seeing as I cannot see into people's eyes, I cannot tell if they have a soul or not!
Also, doesn't that mean that I'M a soulless being, seeing as my eyes should be a window, yet my optometrist said they're askew, hence my sight issues!

I find these love quotes very inconsiderate and prejudiced.

The dreaded 'love quote app' has been replaced with a 'page view counter'. At least now I can see how often Marianne and I visit the site.

I'll leave you all now with a pickup line:

My name is Justin...
Just incredible.

Enjoy.
Don't use it, you won't get laid. Just saying.

Anna.

I've always wondered...

  1. Why am I alive?
  2. Why don't I ever know how I feel?
  3. How do we learn to speak?
  4. ^^ and how do we even understand what each word means? Like, how do you define the word 'the'?
  5. Why do I hate hiphop/rnb so much?
  6. Why am I the way that I am?
  7. Will I ever be content?
  8. How do I even find out what I want in life?
  9. Will I ever be stable enough to pursue a relationship with someone without freaking out about them being 'too close' or 'invading my space'?
  10. Will I ever understand the mechanics of my brain?
  11. Who created the internet and how?
  12. Why do I feel extremely uncomfortable around people that I should be comfortable around? Family. >.>
  13. Why am I afraid to fail?
  14. Will 2012 be the end of the world?
  15. ^^ Why does that not scare me?

And the one question that has been plaguing my mind for some time now:

Is the guy that I like/like/I don't know anymore, reading my tumblr posts? Everytime I post something about how confused I am by his actions, he, conveniently, fixes that?
I guess it might just be coincidental? If not, then he has read some pretty fantastic stuff about himself. Yes, I have a tendency to get very 'passionate' about those that I'm in 'like' with.
Oh well.

I guess those questions will never be answered. Well, maybe one.

Anna.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Catch my disease, it's called 'confusion'.

Confused?
These days, everyone is.

Am I gay? Do I want to be a 'dottor
é'? Do I enjoy bowling?
I know the answer to these questions, it's fairly simple: No.

There is one question, however, that has plagued my mind for many years now:
Where do I want to be in ten years?

Well, I could tell you that I want to be married to the man of my dreams, my perfect guy and have a stable job that I love, that's true, but there are still issues with this. Sure, the 'being married and blissfully in love' is something I can't control, but my occupation is.

I don't know what I want to do, in specifics.
I enjoy business and its complexity, however, I also enjoy the creative side and advertising.

Being a libran definitely does not help.

In relation to being 'married to my dream guy', to be quite honest, I don't know what kind of guy I want, I suppose I'll leave that up to fate?

My usual 'go-with-the-flow' methods have never failed me, so I guess I'll stick to them.

When I'm surrounded with certainty, I, myself become uncertain. It's complex, I'm confused and I can't sleep.

To everyone else who's confused, saluté and may we all find some stability in life.
Ann3a

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Sea of bitterness? That's the (appropriate) translation of MY name.



"I hope that A.Marcellus* takes up writing again, she was so much more interesting than me, like Lemony Snicket."

More interesting? I doubt it. If I was Lemony Snicket, I'd be insulted to be compared to someone like me, but, as I'm on the receiving end of a compliment I'll just say, "Thanks." (It's always good manners to thank someone when complimented.) So I've heard your plea and taken up the mantle of writing again. Although looking back, I wrote like a boy-crazed horndoy so I'll try not to do that so much, okay?


Well, seeing as I lack any originality, I'll just copy the format of the post previous to mine.

Growing up?


Nope, try "growing wider".

Complicated heartbreak?


You have no heartbreak if you follow my patented rule!

"Men and museums have one thing in common: Look but don't touch the exhibits."

Mind you, following this rule also negates all chances of finding companionship. Let's face it, putting yourself out there is step one on the quest for a partner. Of course it's better put in the popular saying:

"No risk, no reward."

Image Manipulation

I haven't dabbled in photoshop in long, long time.


World views?

Well I'm currently viewing my world from several feet above the ground through somewhat thin eyes, and the view is slightly obscured by my rounded nose.

I apologise, that wasn't funny at all.

I have lots of opinions about lots of things but as I prefer to keep this relatively short, and seeing as I'm in a quoting mood I'll leave it at this.

"Opinions are like testicles. You kick them hard enough, doesn't matter how many you got."
- Varric Tethras

Adventures?

Sure I have a few. One of my more recent escapades involved going to Macquarie University Info Day with a friend.

Normally I like my itinerary generally planned before I go out. That time though on a spur of the moment we just said, "What the hey, let's watch the Adventures of Tintin." (It was pretty good, but the end felt anti-climatic for me.)

Anyway, the following day, my father was talking to my aunt over the phone and despite the fact that they're bi-lingual and I'm (pathetically) mono-lingual words do cross over. For example words such as, Marianne, Macquarie, movies and boyfriend.

My father thought I had lied and snuck out with 'my boyfriend' to go watch movies. I didn't have the heart to correct him (not to mention I'd be inadvertently admitting to eavesdropping).

It's a sad day when your only partner is a fictional one your parents made up in their heads.

That's it, I quit, I'm movin' on,
Marianne*

*Seeing as we're changing names, Ann3a.

Reincarnation? That's the Greek translation of my name.

A period of two years has passed by, like leaves falling from trees.

I enjoy reading past posts, or should I say, ramblings? Expressions of teen angst? The inside of the mind of a certain character that has certain 'personal issues', is afraid to open up to those around them, yet they are comfortable posting on the internet? Yes. That was oh-so entertaining.

A matter of two years has resulted in growing up, a complicated heartbreak (who am I without one?), a new image, different world views and many adventures.

Growing Up
In the two years of absence, many a things have happened, including 'growing up'. I have done this with reluctance. As a child, you always wish to be older. Let's face it, the media has raised us to aspire to being older, have you watched 'Suddenly 30'? It addresses that issue.
Admit it. When you were younger you wanted to have cleavage like the Victoria's Secret models, you wanted to wear makeup and wear high heels. Everyone has wanted this at some point in their life, even if you were an alleged 'tomboy'.

As soon as I started wearing makeup, I stopped wearing makeup. There's a part of me that has a firm hold on my childhood. I'm scared. Change scares me. Maybe it's the lack of exposure that I've had to the real world?
For example:
Most people are used to random, nice guys talking to them and trying to pick them up. I am not.
I actually fear having a person ask me out because, to be quite honest, I have not actually spoken to my parents about the matter, this really emphasises the speed at which I'm growing up. To be fair though, I did only just have the talk about other forms of 'feminine hygiene' products with my mother like, a couple of months ago (TMI, I know.)

The end of school was definitely not a celebration for me. I did shed some tears because school was the best time of my life and I really miss it.
University begins around the end of February, so watch out world.

Complicated Heartbreak?
It's quite obvious and well-known that I am a hopeless romantic that has never experienced romance. Well, here's my past two years:

This is a story of boy meets girl, however, I must warn you that it is definitely NOT a love story.
I walked into homeroom, my first day at a new school, I was assigned to a seat beside 'him'. This is oh-so cliche, however, this is no exaggeration.
He was the kindest, nicest, most wonderful guy you could meet. He was a very friendly person, greeting me, showing interest, engaging in conversation. He was my first real 'friend' at my new school.

Homeroom was my favourite part of the day, when we got to talk to each other. I'd always smile after our quick, little, meaningless conversations. Time had passed and I began to fall for him. We checked out each others' music and shared music, it was our common ground.

During this time, I grew close to another girl, she became a very close friend. I, myself, being a supposed 'romantic' am very good at reading body language. Or maybe I just overthink things to the point where I come to an understanding, that which is the truth?
However, I had a feeling that she might have had feelings for the same person, who can blame her? He was kind, friendly, quiet, shy, intelligent and just wonderful, a light in the darkness? Someone that you always feel safe with.

A year had gone by, I never told anyone. Once you tell someone a secret, the truth is to be revealed in time. Halfway through my second year of 'affectionate feelings', I told someone.
It was too much to handle, I couldn't take it anymore. The endless longing and the secrets that I was holding inside, they were crashing over me, drowning me to the point where I had grown used to keeping a 'happy mask' on in order to hide the truth. I couldn't take it any longer. I wanted to stop the feelings. I felt bad for feeling them, especially when I could see how happy he was and how much he really did like her, and how much she liked him.
I felt like I was intruding. It wasn't my fault. You can't help who you fall for. There's a reason why I fell for him and I am yet to understand.

The person I told was a close friend of 'him'. He ended up breaking my trust, betraying me and telling 'him' behind my back. I don't handle rejection well. I try so hard to avoid situations where rejection is a possible outcome, this had all been explained to said 'friend', however, he decided to tell.
It had been three months of awkwardness between me and 'him' after that. I did not understand. Things were going so well until then. I hated it.
Everyone tried to pretend that they did not know, I could see through it all. Who better than a person that lies to everyone everyday?

When I finally found out about the betrayal, it was as though I wasn't allowed to be angry about it. I wasn't allowed to cry. I couldn't do anything.
There I was, not supposed to tell anyone.
I was suffocating, I couldn't breathe.
The mask fell down and revealed a canvas of blankness. Just blankness.
I couldn't control myself, my emotions melted together to create a plain, grey paste.
Everytime I saw 'him', my stomach lurched, my mouth twitched and my heart ached.
I would try to avoid speaking to the friend and 'him'.

One night 'he' thought it was enough. Thank goodness, or else I wouldn't get the marks to go to uni.
I was supposed to be writing my economics essay, but I just couldn't think. I didn't want to do anything, I didn't care anymore. What was it all for anyway?
'He' popped up on Facebook. Niceties such as 'hey' out of the way, the mood got tense.
The 'I'm sorry', 'you know about your friend liking me', 'I don't want to ruin our friendship', 'I'll always be your friend', 'you're awesome' began.
Yes, I did indeed know the whole time that one of my closest friends liked you too. Hence why I didn't tell you. It would have been different if she didn't like you. I would have told you about me and gotten it out of the way. Things would have been simple.

The word 'friend' is simply a word used to reject someone. Noone REALLY means that they just want to be friends. To be honest, if my best friend asked me out and I didn't want to go out with him, I would say "I'm sorry but I'm not into you in that way", at least they know that I'm not into them in that way. But the word 'friend' masks so many things. I want to know, honestly, do you like me? Have you ever actually liked me? Or are you just not into me?

We're currently in this awkward state where I don't know how to act.
It's like, that was the end? I guess it was supposed to be the end for him, but I'm stuck in this weird limbo where I really want to tell him that I really liked him, a lot, just for closure, but he has already made it blatantly impossible through one conversation.
I guess I just have to deal with it?

Image Manipulation
A new year, a new you!
Just kidding. I'm still exactly the same, with added features such as a new form of income, a new educational pursuit and a new Lego stationery set.

I'm now a checkout chick, and whilst I do often checkout people, I still don't feel ready to.

I'm a first year, yay!

My lego stationery set is amazeballs. I can't wait to rearrange my desk.

World Views?
I'm a peace-loving person. Or at least I try to be one.
Being a very ethnic person, I have grown up accepting people from different cultures and religions basically because I, myself, will never truly fit in anywhere so I have respect for everyone in the hopes that they will respect me back.

Religion is one social convention that has always stumped me.
Many people grow up in a family that practises a certain religion, or they go on a long journey to find themselves. Sometimes both.
I started my religious journey 8 years ago and I must say, it has been a long 8 years.

My family is of mixed faith, my mother's family has members from every Christian denomination, the most prominent being Mormon. My father's family is Hindu, yet my father claims he is Buddhist. My sister says she is Hindu and my mother identifies with my father.

I have always been the black sheep of the family in terms of my views on basically everything.
I have found religion to be such an important aspect of my life for one, simple reason: I get to choose it.
My decision had to be well thought out. I have studied religion since I was 10 years old, it was a secret hobby of mine. I didn't only study main religions, I studied a variety of others, mainly for entertainment purposes (This led to my brilliant results in the final exams, for the religion course)

My research led me to the conclusion that all religions are based on the same concepts:

1. Respect yourself and others.
2. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
3. Be a kind-hearted person.
4. Believe in yourself.

Those four points are the basis of every religion.
1, 2 and 3 are pretty straight-forward and obvious in every religion, however, number four is a bit more complex.
'Believing in yourself' is emphasised in every religion through the form 'God'.
We pray to a higher being who has a variety of names, the most common, being, 'God'.
Well, God, gives us the power to do better things, to help others, helps our family and friends, keeps us safe, is always there for us, etc.
However, why is it that God helps us? Because we believe in God.
This belief in God gives us strength and confidence, that which we do not find within ourselves.
In Catholicism, you're taught that the Holy Spirit lives within you. The Holy Spirit is, essentially, God? This means that the power is within yourself.
[I should have said this before, but, if you do not like what I am typing then please, do not read it.]
I'm not denying the existence of God, I'm supporting it.
Yes, God does exist, but only if you believe in it.
God comes in many forms, but essentially, it is belief in yourself.

Why do you think that Buddhism has no God?
Belief in yourself is emphasised in Buddhism. Taking 'God' out of the equation causes people to see clearly, what it is that they are working towards in life. Religions like Christianity help to ease people into the idea of believing in themselves.
All religions are a journey, but whatever path you choose, you will always end up moving towards the same destination, just in a different way.

The path I chose? Well, I do believe in God, honestly, however, I believe in the four key beliefs that I listed, which stem from every religion so I just define myself as 'agnostic' to those who aren't very interested in hearing my religious spiels.

Adventures?
Two years. Yes, they were adventures during that time. Many adventures.

Dabbling in the Dark Arts
Once upon a time, there was an innocent, nerdy, insecure girl that was too scared to do anything. She feared trying new things, not because she was afraid of breaking the rules, it was because she didn't trust herself and the people around her.

Fast forward a year, a change of place, a change of attitude, a changed girl?
She decided, one night, that she was ready. She could trust herself. She would try something new. She did.

The girl drank for the first time ever at an alcohol-fuelled party and yes, she enjoyed it.
However, she was very responsible. The fact that it was underage drinking was the least of her concerns. She was worried about how she would act. She was blessed with the ability to consume large amounts of alcohol without it having any visible effects.
The girl, however, spent that night, learning her limits.
From that night on, she has probably been the most responsible drinker.
Until one day, whilst on a mini-holiday with her friends, she saw herself at her worst and it was a shock to everyone's system. Her's especially.

Getaway
A girl went on a mini-holiday, self-financed.
Her parents, being as over-protective as they are, decided that her friends weren't true friends.
This didn't phase her, seeing as her parents never like any of her friends anyway, until she gets new friends.

The getaway had opened the girl's eyes to something. Her good judge of character does not come from her parents.
One night, she was in a terrible state and her friends ploughed through it with her.
They took care of her, cleaned her up, fed her, put her to bed. All was good.

I will never forget that week, I had a lot of good memories and I found out how good-natured and true my friends are.

Harry Potter and the Exhibition
What better way to start off a new year than attending a Harry Potter exhibition?
I know! Nothing.
The exhibition was simply amazing.

I spent $105 on Harry Potter merchandise and have been wearing my scarf since.
Being a Potterhead is awesome. It's one thing that I can dedicate myself to.
Yes, I am on Pottermore and yes, I have been sorted into Gryffindor.
Go figure.

Well, I'm off.
I hope that A. Marcellus takes up writing again, she was so much more interesting than me, like Lemony Snicket.

Remember, you are the key to all of the doors ahead.

Ann3a <3